Listening to Anxiety: A Therapeutic Perspective on Inner Protection
Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW, in her article “Anxiety Is Love With a Mask”, offers a compelling shift in how we interpret anxiety. Rather than treating it as a malfunction, she suggests that anxiety is often a sign of how deeply we care. Her insights align with a more compassionate, introspective approach to mental health.
Below is a commentary by Emotional Peace Psychotherapy, offering further insight, highlighting key takeaways, and adding depth to the conversation on anxiety, coping skills, and the self-discovery journey. (Source: Psychology Today, Anxiety Is Love With a Mask, Jennifer Gerlach LCSW, Reviewed by Abigail Fagan, January 2, 2025, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/beyond-mental-health/202412/anxiety-is-love-with-a-mask ).
1. Anxiety as a Sign of Deep Care
Anxiety can be seen as an emotional indicator of love and connection—something triggered when we fear losing what matters most to us.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy shares, “Anxiety isn’t the enemy. It’s a signal—a strong emotional message saying, ‘This matters to me.’ When anxiety shows up, it often means we’re emotionally invested in something or someone. It’s not irrational; it’s deeply human. Instead of silencing it, we need to ask what it’s protecting. The more we lean into what anxiety is trying to safeguard, the more we understand our priorities and emotional truths.”
2. Embracing the Fear of Loss
The article suggests that instead of resisting the fear of loss, we can learn to embrace it—recognizing that it’s an unavoidable part of loving and caring deeply.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy comments, “There’s power in naming our fears instead of running from them. The fear of loss is a testament to love—it means we care. Learning to hold that fear without letting it dictate our every move is a key skill in anxiety therapy. It’s not about eliminating the fear but learning to coexist with it, which helps build emotional resilience. This is part of the self-discovery journey: allowing discomfort without shutting down.”
3. Finding Meaning in Our Worries
Anxiety often holds valuable information about our values, hopes, and what we hold dear. Unpacking these layers can lead to meaningful personal insight.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy highlights, “Anxiety is rarely just about the surface-level worry. When you look closer, there’s often a deeper concern underneath—fear of failure, of being alone, of being misunderstood. These fears reveal what we long for: connection, success, and understanding. By asking, ‘What is my anxiety trying to protect?’ we open the door to profound self-inquiry. This isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about using anxiety as a guide on the self-discovery journey.”
4. Anxiety vs. Anxiety Disorders
The article makes an important distinction between anxiety as an emotional experience and anxiety disorders, which may require clinical attention and treatment.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy expresses, “Recognizing the difference between everyday anxiety and an anxiety disorder is essential. Not every worry is pathological. But when anxiety begins to interfere with functioning or becomes overwhelming, it’s time to pause and reassess. Therapy isn’t about labeling people—it’s about equipping them with coping skills, tools, and insights to navigate their experience. Understanding where your anxiety falls on that spectrum is part of building emotional literacy.”
5. The Power of Letting Go
Gerlach discusses the relief that can come from releasing the struggle against anxiety—letting go of resistance and choosing to accept its presence rather than fighting it.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy mentions, “Letting go doesn’t mean surrendering to anxiety; it means giving up the illusion of total control. Much of anxiety stems from trying to prevent or predict every outcome. But control is not the path to peace—acceptance is. By allowing anxiety to be there without judgment, we begin to loosen its grip. Acceptance, paired with awareness, is a cornerstone of effective anxiety therapy and a critical point in the self-discovery journey.”
Through her compassionate lens, Gerlach reminds us that anxiety is not a flaw but a feature of our emotional system. When seen clearly, it reveals what we love, what we fear losing, and what truly matters.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy reflects, “At its core, anxiety is trying to tell us something vital. When we stop treating it as an interruption and start listening, we uncover the path to deeper understanding. Anxiety therapy is not just about symptom management—it’s about decoding these messages and building coping skills that reconnect us with ourselves. In that sense, anxiety becomes not just manageable but meaningful. It becomes part of the journey—not something to escape, but something to learn from.”