Making Sense of ADHD and Finding the Right Therapy
In a world where misinformation about ADHD still shapes public attitudes, it’s critical to dismantle long-standing myths. Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis’ article, “What ADHD Is Not,” provides a clear foundation for understanding the misconceptions surrounding ADHD. Emotional Peace Psychotherapy offers professional commentary on each major point to deepen the conversation—shedding light on what ADHD really is, what it is not, and how therapy can support real growth and healing. (Source: Psychology Today, What ADHD Is Not, Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis, Ph.D. reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D., January 9, 2024, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/special-matters/202401/what-adhd-is-not ).
ADHD Is Not a Behavioral Choice
It is a common but misguided belief—that people with ADHD are simply choosing to be disruptive, lazy, or inattentive. The truth is that ADHD behaviors stem from differences in brain function, not willful disobedience.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy shares, “When we view ADHD as a matter of ‘bad behavior,’ we’re setting people up for shame instead of support. ADHD is rooted in how the brain regulates attention, motivation, and executive functioning. These are not conscious choices. When an adult with ADHD forgets appointments or struggles with follow-through, it’s not a character flaw—it’s a neurological challenge. Shifting the narrative from ‘choice’ to ‘condition’ is the first step toward offering meaningful coping skills that build confidence rather than reinforce failure.”
Understanding this allows for compassionate support, particularly in ADHD therapy for adults, where years of misunderstood behavior often lead to internalized guilt and low self-worth. When we move past blame, we create space for healing and growth.
ADHD Is Not Caused by Poor Parenting
Another deeply harmful myth is that ADHD is caused by inconsistent or inattentive parenting. While structure and support can certainly help manage symptoms, the condition itself is neurological, not environmental.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy highlights, “When parents are blamed for their child’s ADHD, it ignores the complexity of the disorder and places undue guilt where it doesn’t belong. Parenting a child with ADHD requires unique strategies, but the presence of the disorder is not evidence of failure. Likewise, adults with ADHD are often told their difficulties stem from how they were raised, which compounds their frustration. In therapy, we work to untangle these narratives, helping individuals separate their identity from external judgment and begin a process of self discovery rooted in truth, not blame.”
This distinction is vital. Parenting style may influence how ADHD presents, but it is not a cause. Therapy should focus on support, not scapegoating.
ADHD Is Not Linked to Low Intelligence
A persistent stereotype is that people with ADHD are somehow less intelligent. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Many individuals with ADHD have average or above-average intelligence and excel in creative and unconventional fields.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy explains, “ADHD doesn’t impair intelligence—it affects how that intelligence is applied in daily life. Often, people with ADHD are gifted thinkers who struggle with executive functioning. This mismatch between potential and performance can lead to chronic frustration. In therapy, reframing the narrative is essential. We help clients understand that their cognitive wiring is different, not deficient. Identifying their strengths—whether it’s verbal reasoning, design thinking, or pattern recognition—is a foundational step in restoring self-esteem.”
This kind of work empowers individuals to see themselves not as broken but as uniquely wired—with specific tools and strategies to match.
ADHD Is Not a Trauma Response
Some confusion exists between the effects of trauma and the symptoms of ADHD since both can involve concentration difficulties, impulsivity, and emotional regulation challenges. However, they are distinct clinical phenomena.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy expresses, “ADHD and trauma can co-exist, but they are not interchangeable. Misdiagnosing ADHD as trauma-related behavior can delay effective treatment. At the same time, unaddressed trauma can exacerbate ADHD symptoms. A skilled therapist knows how to identify the roots of a client’s struggles. Therapy is not about choosing one label over another—it’s about understanding how different experiences intersect. For many adults, learning that their challenges stem from ADHD, and not personal failure or past trauma, is deeply liberating and clarifying.”
The goal of ADHD therapy for adults is to offer accurate insight and targeted interventions, which only happen when the root cause is clearly understood.
ADHD Is Not a Modern Fabrication
There’s a belief in some circles that ADHD is a made-up condition born from modern impatience or overdiagnosis. However, the characteristics of ADHD have been documented for over a century, even if the terminology has evolved.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy comments, “Dismissing ADHD as a ‘trend’ disrespects the real experiences of those living with it. Increased diagnosis isn’t proof of fabrication—it’s a sign that we’re finally recognizing and addressing something that was always there. Adults who were never diagnosed as children often grow up feeling out of step with others. Discovering their ADHD later in life can be both validating and overwhelming. Therapy helps process this identity shift and develop new coping skills to meet life’s demands with clarity and confidence.”
The visibility of ADHD has increased, and that’s a good thing—it means more people are getting the support they’ve always needed.
ADHD Is Not a One-Size-Fits-All Condition
ADHD looks different in everyone. Some are hyperactive and impulsive; others struggle more with inattention. These variations mean that therapy must be personalized to be effective.
Emotional Peace Psychotherapy shares, “What works for one person may completely fail for another. That’s why individualized treatment plans are so essential. ADHD therapy for adults should incorporate practical tools like time management and emotional regulation, but it also needs to foster a sense of self discovery. Adults often come to therapy saying, ‘I never knew why I was like this.’ Helping them understand their unique ADHD profile not only offers relief—it opens the door to embracing their strengths and living with greater intentionality.”
The goal isn’t to “fix” someone with ADHD but to equip them to live well with it—on their terms, with real tools and understanding.
Understanding what ADHD is—and what it’s not—is key to developing effective, compassionate therapy. Emotional Peace Psychotherapy emphasizes that ADHD is a real, nuanced, and highly individual condition. With the right support, individuals can build coping skills, reclaim their self-worth, and begin a path of self discovery that transforms frustration into fulfillment. Dispelling myths is the first step. Empowerment is what comes next.